Do You Know What You Really Want? 🔍

Here’s a big question to start your day:

Not what you think you should want. Not what’s expected. Not what looks impressive on LinkedIn.

But what you deeply, honestly want - in your work, your life, your next chapter?

Yeah. Not so simple, is it?

We talk a lot about goals, ambitions, productivity, but the tricky bit is that if you don’t understand what actually matters to you, you might find yourself chasing a future that looks shiny on the outside… but feels hollow when you get there.

Let’s talk about it. Let’s talk about desire - the real, raw, often misunderstood kind - and why it might just be the missing link between burnout and true fulfillment 💡

🎯 Why Some Goals Feel Empty (Even When You Achieve Them)

Ever hit a big milestone - a new job, a pay rise, a dream title - only to find yourself thinking:

“Wait… is this it?”

“Why am I not happy?”

“This doesn’t feel like me…”

If that sounds familiar, you’re not broken. You just might’ve set a goal based on someone else’s definition of success. Maybe it was what your parents wanted for you. Maybe it was what society rewards. Or maybe it was just the “next logical step.”

Here’s the problem: when we don’t really know ourselves - our values, our joy, our pain points, our real gifts - we end up setting goals that don’t fit.

And achieving a mismatched goal? That’s not fulfillment. That’s just a fancy form of disappointment.

🌱 The Desire Behind the Desire

Most of us grow up being taught what’s desirable: good grades, good job, steady income, tick tick tick.

But true desire runs deeper. It’s not about external approval. It’s about alignment with who you are, what lights you up, and how you want to contribute to the world.

The world is changing fast: AI, remote work, whole industries shifting under our feet. But if you’re grounded in your core desires, passions, values, you’re never irrelevant. You can adapt. You can create. You can solve real problems in ways only you can.

So how do we get there?

🔍 Step One: Ask Better Questions

Start with reflection, but go beyond the surface.

Here are a few questions to dig into:

What energizes me, even when no one’s watching?
When do I feel most like myself?
What kinds of problems do I want to solve?
What do I get lost in, in the best possible way?
If success was guaranteed, what would I try?
If money didn’t matter, how would I spend my days?
What do I value most: freedom, impact, mastery, stability, creativity, service…?

🎨 Step Two: Go Do Stuff

You can’t think your way into clarity. At some point, you’ve got to go out and live into the questions.

Try things. Volunteer. Take that weird ceramics class. Start a blog. Shadow someone whose work fascinates you. Travel. Get uncomfortable. Get curious.

Desire doesn’t always show up with a megaphone. Sometimes it whispers through what you enjoy. What you care about, what you can’t stop talking about at dinner parties.

You’ve got to do to discover. Action breeds clarity.

🧠 Step Three: Learn the Difference Between Conditioned vs Authentic Desires

A quick test: imagine achieving your current goal.

Now ask yourself:

Who is this really for?
Would I still want this if no one ever saw it on social media?
Am I excited about the process, not just the prize?

Conditioned desires feel safe, predictable, approved.

Authentic desires? They can feel wild, unique, personal, scary. But they’re also electric. They wake you up.

You don’t need to justify what you want. You just need to be honest about it.

**💬 Step Four: Talk To People Who See You**

Sometimes, we can’t see our own brilliance. We downplay our magic. That’s where others come in.

Talk to a supportive and honest friend, to mentors, or to a coach. Ask:

“When do you see me most alive?”
“What do you think I’m really good at?”
“What’s something I do that feels effortless to me, but powerful to others?”

Sometimes your deepest desire is hiding in plain sight. And a good friend can hold up a mirror and say: “Mate, from my perspective, this is what I see in you.”

🦄 Step Five: Give Yourself Permission to Want What You Want

Even if it’s weird, different, hard, and it doesn’t fit someone else’s template for a “successful” life.

Whether you want to build a tech start-up, grow a flower farm, write poetry, or run silent retreats in the Highlands, as long as you're clear and solid that's what you want to do, it’s valid.

You’re not too much or unrealistic. You’re being real. And that’s really brave in our current world.

💭 What About You?

What do you truly desire - in your career, your life, your impact?

Are you chasing a goal that aligns with your values? Or are you halfway up someone else’s ladder?

From my experience, this really isn’t about having it all figured out. What matters is getting closer, layer by layer, to what feels true, real, and meaningful.

You deserve to want what you want. And the world needs what only you can bring.

So, what’s whispering to you lately?

Pop it in the comments, or message me if you want to chat. No judgement. Just curiosity, honesty, and a safe space to explore 💬👇